my favourite kind of jokes!!! LOL

[minniemax]

The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year’s term: "Political Correctness"

"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."



A Politically Correct School

* No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired".
* You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed".
* Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive".
* These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined".
* Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive".
* Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps".
*Your homework isn't missing, it’s just having an "out-of notebook experience".
* You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness".
* You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time".
* You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome".
* You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear".
* No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced".
* You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective".
* You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal".
* You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations".
* You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building".
* It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information".
* The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged".



Politically Incorrect

An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.

Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"

The others agree that sounds like a nice place. Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink."

Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar. Then the Polish guy says, "You think that's great? Where I come from, there's this place, Warshowski's. At Warshowski's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"

"Wow!" said the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"

"No," he replied, "but it happened to my sister!"


[ETA]: "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein

ROFL, how true!