(no subject)

[minniemax]

* What do they call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses

* What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle

* Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis

* Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
"Rude"olph

* What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet

* What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet

* What is the cow's holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas

* What does Santa like to eat?
A jolly roll

* Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen

* What does Santa say when he is sick?
OH OH NO!

* If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe

* How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid

* What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney? Santa Claus-trophbia

* What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws

* The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Santa Claus
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus
He is Santa Claus

* Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him

* What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold

* Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log

* What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

* What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish

* Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him

* What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

* How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

* What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

* What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood

* What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes

* What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve

* What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells

* Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

* What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.




HO, HO, HO, Merry Christmas!!