last minute advice before Christmas!

[minniemax]

Gift Wrapping With The Help Of Your Cat


1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc..

7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

12. Lay out paper to determine size to cut.

13. Try to smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.

15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper.

16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.

17. Place present on paper.

18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.

20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.

23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.

25. Repeat steps 13-24 until you reach last sheet of paper.

26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.

27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for a room with a lock.

30. Once inside locking room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials.

31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.

32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from outside door)

33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best)

34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well.

35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.

37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.

38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.

40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

41. Go to store and buy a gift bag

Comments

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

Hee

Numfar just helped me to wrap several presents so the timing on this wsa perfect :)

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

lovely kitty, your Numfar, reminds me a bit of Max, who lived with me for 11 years

thank God I don't do any presents this year LOL

how's Daisy?

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

Daisy still won't come in but she turns up for meals twice a day and waits till the food is put out. She's deaf /mute so can't mew to attract her attention so we try to make sure her plates are kept full ( she's eating us out of house and home)

And Nummy is adorable

but not terribly helpful when it comes to wrapping presents :)

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

Every time I hear a story like this it breaks my heart. I'd best rush out and adopt all of them. Poor babies :-(
Thank God Daisy found you.

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

We're glad she found us too :)

Now if she could just learn to trust us and come into the warm... but that will take time

and talking of heartbreaking your LJ layout is so sad and beautiful
(( hugs))

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you! It's very nice of you to say.
Not all people understand it; many think we should forget people who are gone, but I refuse to do it.

This LJ started as and still is a "shrine" for my sweetheart; a place for all the messages he prepared for me, helping me to learn to live with the grief.

*hugs back*

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die"


I'm so sorry for your loss

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

How true! He knew it, too, even sent me this:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

I find the poem beautiful.

Thank you *hearts you*

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

That's one of my favourites :)

I also love

" If I should die before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor when talking use a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves I've loved and known.

Weep if you must.
Parting is hell
But life goes on
so sing as well"


I hope that despite your grief you remember to keep singing :)

((hugs))

And my absolute favourite

" Exchanged time for eternity "

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

I'm trying, brave little toaster :-)
I love the last line, too. That's what I'm waiting for.

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

There will come a time when you can sing and love and laugh and dance because life is for the living and you can treasure his memory but live for today ... because eternity will wait for you .

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Hee - my friend posted this to me last year, and I accidentally lost it, so it is with great pleasure that I laughed at it all over again.

The author knows my cat!

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

it's great, isn't it?
I love my cats but they can be a pain sometimes

[saifai.livejournal.com]

It's all the more funny because it's so damn true. ::giggles::

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

it really is!!
I was owned by cats my whole life, so I know it
and even after so many years it's still funny and astounding LOL!